I bought a box of Count Chocula cereal. Insanity followed. This is the letter I wrote to General Mills about it and the responses. You’re welcome.
To whom it may concern:
I recently purchased a box of Count Chocula. Let me tell you how I typically eat my marshmallow-y cereal: I eat all the cereal, leaving only marshmallow, I [...]
Dear Olive Garden:
Your commercials make me want to cut myself. I have actually not eaten at your restaurants recently simply because I want to have absolutely no part in funding those enraging 30 second mind rapes. Not only is your food the equivalent to Italian as McDonald’s is the equivalent to a steak, but [...]
When I can’t think of a clever blog to post, I post one of these. They’re typically things I have been considering lately.
I was expecting more out of the Browns and Seahawks this season.
Lou Holtz has seriously lost his fucking mind. The’Dr. Lou’ skit? Seriously?
I’m at Comedy Works again on Tuesday. It’s a 3 minute [...]
My Commentary on Current AOL Headlines:
OJ Simpson Found Guilty
Did I go to another dimension where it’s 1995 and things get done right the first time?
Boy Breaks Into Zoo, Kills Animals
This kid was seven years old and fed reptiles to crocodiles. What are the signs of a future serial killer? Read this article and you’ll learn [...]
In Mexico, the world’s heaviest man used to weigh in at 1,230 pounds. He’s now down to about 700 pounds. Wow. That’s a real hero. Wait…no. This dude still can’t walk around his neighborhood, still can’t bathe himself and has his “fiancé” changing his bedpan for him. And this is a headline.
He claims that [...]
